As we are beginning this ministry, we are in discussions with many ministers from many different ministerial backgrounds. One thing that has caught my attention is the overwhelming need for family time, and connection with family. I read earlier today an article in Christianitytoday.com, how people in ministry tend to be active listeners most of the day, and therefore really do not want to hear much from their spouse or children once at home. In many cases the ministry tends to be too tight nit of a group to have someone to confide in, and the spouse then becomes the landfill for the days stress. Giving cause for further concern, many of times this happens in front of the kids or even with the kids. There were other troublesome things mentioned, each affecting the family in its own way. And, there were also answers to each problem. My favorite answer was to “disappoint them” with “them” being those who the ministry serves who are pushing for too much. It reminded me that we are not in the business of making others happy; we are in the ministry. It takes bold boundaries sometimes.
However, that brings up another question: “How does a pastor balance family and ministry?” This was asked by Practicleshepherding.com in another article I read. The author gives three points that I believe apply to anyone in any type of ministry. First, when it comes to family time, the author tells us “Quality time trumps quantity time.” When you are home with your family, make sure you are with your family. In other words, make sure your mind is not still with the homeless teen you talked with earlier. Your family needs you to be with them. Next, we received the tip of giving individual time. Being one on one with each child and your spouse can be very special for them. This is time where the child can say, “I am special to Daddy.” I think we forget how important affirmation of our children can be. Even Jesus received it from God in Matthew 3:17. It is definitely an example we should follow. Finally, we should “Know both extremes, and avoid them.” As a minister who has been overwhelmed by ministry begins to set boundaries, they tend to find the pendulum swings both ways. They become hyper-focused on their family, and what once was a ministry has now become a job.
While the balancing act takes practice, it can be achieved and it is easier to achieve with help. Keep striving for it. Know that we have a heart to help you. If you would like to nominate yourself or someone else who is in ministry for retreat, please contact us. Also, if you would like to make a financial contribution, click on the donate tab. We thank you for your prayers and other forms of support. As Always, To God Be The Glory!