In all relationships, there are two types of boundaries: Healthy and Non-healthy. With non-healthy boundaries, relationally, you seek to please others while disregarding personal cost. Physically, sleep is lost and nutrition is neglected. Also spiritually, the discipline of devotion and communication with God is relaxed. With healthy boundaries your stress levels are lower because you are properly managing your relationships and the related emotions, your related physical wellbeing, and most importantly, your spirituality.
However, all boundaries are tested and pushed. What happens then? Do you feel resentment toward others when asking too much of you? Or, are you saying yes to things you rather not do to avoid upsetting others? These are just a few questions presented in a wonderful article entitled Setting Boundaries for Stress Management. (For those who cut and paste, the URL is at the bottom of this post.) In this article, the author Elizabeth Scott, MS, gives several questions to help determine if your boundaries are set properly. If it is not, all we need to do is tell the others in the relationship where our comfort zone is and the boundary is set.
However, when resetting appropriate boundaries, there is a toll of conflict which needs to be considered. Others may push and test, much like children do with their parent’s boundaries. This could be because they are not comfortable with the new statuesque, or your new boundary pushes another’s boundary. In situations such as this, questions are designed to help figure out conjoined boundaries. Ask simple things like, “Is this fair?” The above mentioned article has a list of these questions as well.
Finally, while there is a toll of conflict to be considered, I want to remind you that resetting boundaries is more about “the long run”. The long term benefits are well worth those short term squabbles. A gardener once told me, “If you want the beautiful garden, at some point you have to dig in the mud.” Keep the end goal in mind. If you need encouragement along the way, feel free to send us an email. We would love to hear from you. Also if you enjoy our post, please feel free to comment or start a conversation.
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read:http://stress.about.com/od/relationshipskills/a/Setting-Boundaries-For-Stress-Management.htm