Years ago, I worked at a residential treatment ministry in Branson, Missouri. It focused on “at risk teens”, and their behavioral and emotional levels were high. While I didn’t doubt my calling, 40 hours a week didn’t pay bills. So, I took another 20 hours working in maintenance. Add in 60 minutes roundtrip to/from work, chores around our home, and that added up to four hours of sleep nightly. I started noticing a shorter temper. At work, I punished with anger instead of holding a boundary with love. I pointed out faults of my wife, while withholding recognition of her hard work.
Finally, Kelly had enough of me. She told me I needed to go someplace and relax. The timing was God ordained. It happened to be spring break, and the teens weren’t on campus. My director had no problem giving me time off. I got in the truck, drove three hours to a state park, and rented a cabin.
I spent days hiking the woods, kayaking rivers, and evenings reading Scripture next to a campfire. Every time I opened it, there was the same Scripture: “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF” (Mark 12:31, NASB). This frustrated me. I was doing everything I could for others. I worked for pennies, never saw my wife, and gave every spiritual, mental, and emotional asset I had! The second night I read this, I yelled at God; “I’ve given you everything! My cup is empty! I love others all I can!” How could He tell me to love more?
The third night I started the fire and started to open my Bible, but stopped. I was tired and broken and humbly wept, “God, Please, show me something.” Again, I opened Scripture. Again, there was Mark 12:31. Disappointed, I read it anyway.
This time was different. The second part of that verse I’d overlooked. It says, “AS YOURSELF”. When I acknowledged “AS YOUSELF”, God showed me opportunities I had to love myself and that He was trying to love me through others. He showed me there was no, “AS YOURSELF” in my life. I had to realize that love from others, is really love from God. Apart of loving yourself is letting others love you. More importantly, it’s something that God wants you to do. Without doubt, it’s His love that keeps you going. Let’s now recognize it and accept it.